


Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-30
Updated: 2006-03-11
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: James loves Lily, Lily loves James. Simple. James and Lily break up. Lily moves away. Simple. Jane loves James. James loves Jane. Sirius hates Jane. Lily comes back. Not so simple. Post Hogwarts. AU.





	1. Of Old Times and Order

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_So this was unexpected. This just came out. I don’t know if it will last, if not I will make it into a big one-shot. I really hope you like it. It’s unedited and I just finished writing it. Thanks for reading it!_

_-Jill_

__

_P.S as of December 8th I edited it. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes._

__

_Rating_ : M for Mature. I think things could get a bit intense in this story, it’s just to be safe.

_Disclaimer_ : I suppose that the Old School Harry Potter characters are Ms. Rowling’s. The images of them are really thanks to the masses of stereotypes in these stories, and I suppose Ms. Rowling’s. I think Jane is mine, and I think parts of the plot are as well…

** _Kiss Kiss Bang Bang_ **

_Of Old Times and Order_

__

Her dress was cut dangerously low, front and back, and it was all James could do to keep himself from looking down as he danced with her. Just as friends of course, that’s all they have ever been. He tried to get his mind off that dress, that little black dress that never failed to make him sweat. She always wore it; he had to go out shopping with her to find another one. One not so… sexy.

Across the club, a girl who he knew he had seen before, but he couldn’t place. He had only known one red head in his life, and she was long gone by now. Living in Rome was the last he heard of her. Or Remus heard of her. Jane shifted in his arms, bringing her hands around his neck, making her dress lower in the front. James swore under his breath and went back to gazing over her shoulder at the red head on a barstool.

Damned if Sirius didn’t pick up on her because when her head was starting to turn his way, Sirius crossed his vision. Words were exchanged and he took her out on the dance floor. She was wearing a dark purple dress, barely visible on its own, but in the sea of black it was clear as day.

James stopped moving altogether when he saw Sirius’ hand slide down this girl’s back, which was facing him. He couldn’t blame Sirius; she did have a nice back.

“What’s wrong James?”

James turned to meet her eyes.

“Nothing luv, I just remembered something.”

Jane put her head against his chest as James continued to stare at Sirius and the girl.

His hand moved up some, she must have noticed. They seemed to be having a great time laughing; they hardly seemed to be dancing at all. Sirius caught his eye and winked. He then did a very dramatic spin so that James could see the girl’s face.

James’ hands dropped

.

It was her.

“James? What’s wrong?” Jane asked placing her hand on his cheek.

James just stared.

Sirius saw that James had caught sight of his partner. He stopped dancing, took her hand and led her over to James.

“James! Mate! Guess what the dog dragged in. I assume you remember Lily Evans?”

Lily knew this was James Potter. The whole reason she moved in the first place. Lily held out her hand.

“James, it really has been to long.”

Her eyes flashed to Jane. Her smiled faltered. “Never could stay single, could you?”

Jane laughed shaking Lily’s hand.

“Oh no, I’m only a friend, Jane.”

Lily’s smile grew.

“James, she is simply adorable. I don’t see your reason for keeping her as a friend. You’re not getting any younger you know. ”

James forced a laugh and began to drag Jane deeper into the crowd of people. Jane stopped him.

“So Lily, where do you know James from?”

“School, Head Boy and Girl in our seventh year. Isn’t that right James?”

“Yes, now if you don’t mind, I need to work tomorrow, we should be getting home. Jane?”

Lily held back a laugh. “Wow, you have really grown up. I never did believe Remus’ letters.”

“You should know, Remus tells the most truth out of all of us,” Sirius laughed.

Lily glared at James. “I know. I hate to break up this reunion, but I also have to work tomorrow. Need to make a good first impression. Nice seeing you again, Sirius…James. Nice meeting you Jane.”

Lily turned and walked out of the club. The second time she has walked away from James since Hogwarts.

James grabbed Sirius’ sleeve and pulled him over to the bar.

“Bloody hell, have you gone mental?”

“I could ask you the same question. Why did you bring Lily here?”

“Whoa, I never brought her anywhere; she came here on her own.”

“You know what I mean.” James sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Sirius smirked. “Mate, you looked like you were going to jump her bones if I didn’t bring her over. And how rude would that have been if you ran off and left Jane for some strange girl. I was just being polite.”

“Shove it. You just wanted to rub her in my face. I’m finally happy and you had to bring her into the picture.”

“Again, whoa. I didn’t bring her into any picture.”

Jane made her way over to the boys. This girl, James had never mentioned her before, but they seemed to know each other. She would have to ask about her when James was in a better mood.

“James? Is everything alright?”

“Perfectly fine. I’m going to head home, are you coming?”

Sirius smiled at Jane, as if to challenge her.

“Yes, I’ll come with you. Bye Sirius, have a good night.” Jane smiled taking James’ arm as he led her out.

Jane could tell that Sirius didn’t like her very much. He never seemed to. She felt as if he thought she was replacing someone. That couldn’t possibly be true since James spent every night out drinking with him. But then again she came along too.

Remus liked her though. Well more than Sirius did. Remus always smiled politely and made small talk with her and that was ten times friendlier than anything Sirius ever did. Why was she so upset over the fact that there was a possibility that Sirius didn’t like her? Maybe it was because Sirius was so close to James, and James was so close to her. She was living with James; she should be close to him.

Or maybe Sirius was just like that with everyone. He never came right out and said ‘I don’t like you Jane’. He could just be a very cold person. But he was nice to that Lily. In all fairness he did know her a bit better. If they were friends for their entire time at Hogwarts that would be…ten years. He could have known her and been friends with her for ten years.

“Were you friends with Lily at school?”

James looked over and gave Jane a strange glance followed by him frowning.

“No. I was never friends with her. We just worked together.”

“Was she friends with the rest? Remus, Sirius, Pete?”

James thought for a moment. “Not really. Not until our sixth year, they kind of grew attached to her then.”

Sixth year. That would only be four years. They were attached to her? Jane had known them for a while now and she was nowhere near being attached to them. Maybe there was more to this Lily person than Jane saw.

James turned the key in the lock.

“James?”

“Yes luv?

“How do you know Lily?”

James sighed and took Jane’s jacket and then his own, placing them both on the coat rack.

“I told you, she told you. We worked together in school.”

“Then how come Sirius knows her so well?”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Can we please not talk about this now? I’m tired and I have a long day at work tomorrow.”

Jane nodded and watched James walk into his room.

She thought she loved him then. Half drunk, with bags under his eyes. Yes she loved him.

They have known each other for two years already and have been living together for one. One could say it was a match made in heaven, without the romance. They met at King’s Cross. Jane was waiting for her sister, who was in her third year at Hogwarts, and James ran into her. It was friends at first sight.

And now she loved him. It was terrible. James trusted her with his secrets, with his life and she goes and falls for him. That was the last thing he needed. His job was stressful, and this Lily girl upset him. The last thing James needed was her telling him that she loved him. Or maybe it was just the thing he needed to hear.

Jane walked up to James door and hesitated before opening it to see James getting into bed.

“Jane?”

“I love you. I have for a while, I was afraid to tell you, I was afraid it would ruin us. Please don’t be mad.”

James stopped pulling back the sheets. He walked up to Jane and took her face into his hands.

“I love you too.”

And he kissed her.

 

 

Rome was nice. For a while. Lily missed her old life. Not to get her wrong, she loved it there, especially the weather, but Lily missed the England lifestyle. The balmy, rainy nights, the scarf and umbrella days. She also missed her friends. 

Remus did keep her updated on the many fascinations of Sirius, the strange accounts of Peter, and his own day-to-day life. Every now and then he would bring up James. Mention he was stressed at work, and how much he missed her, even if he didn’t know it yet.

What Remus failed to mention was the floozy James was running around with. This Jane. She seemed a nice friend sure, but Lily could tell, she could always tell, that Jane was in love with him. After being in a school of James worshipers for seven years she should know what it looks like to be in love with him. And Jane was in love with him.

Lily was never an insulting girl, and never to people that she didn’t know. She didn’t mean for half of those things to come out in front of Jane. It’s not her fault for loving James.

“Is this Lily Evans I see?” said a voice that could have only belonged to one person.

“Is that Sirius Black I hear?”

“But of course, do you know anyone else with such a handsome voice?”

Lily laughed.

“Clubs are not for drinking Lils; go to a bar for that.”

Lily smiled. “I know, but no one has asked me to dance yet.”

“You never needed an invitation before.”

“You make me sound like a tart.”

“Me? Never, not to my Lils.”

He brought her out to one side of the dance floor, his hand sliding lower.

“If that hand moves any lower, you won’t have a hand left.”

“Just making sure you’re still you. Rome can change a person.”

Lily laughed. “I was only gone for two years, that’s hardly enough to change me.”

“Enough to change some people,” Sirius said has he did a dramatic spin.

Lily’s new flat was just above a coffee shop in London, not a long walk. And it was one of her favourite rainy nights. Apparating seemed such a waste.

It was good to see Sirius again. She would meet him again tomorrow at the coffee shop. It would be good to catch up. After all, he was one of the reasons she came back. She would have to owl Remus and Peter as well, catch up with them.

And with James. She would wait with him. She knew she got him upset. She didn’t mean to, she hadn’t seen anyone look at James that way in long time. It was hard. But she would have to talk to him eventually.

He flat was cozy. Exactly what she had always wanted. Small, one bedroom, two bathrooms, sitting room and a nice warm kitchen. A perfect place to call home.

Tomorrow would be her first official full day back in London. Where everything was set up and where everything had order. She needed order. Tonight she went out to celebrate.

 

_Please review if you like it, or even if you don't, I really don't mind!_

 


	2. Of Knowing and Hearing

**_ Of Knowing and Hearing  _ **

****_ _

  
It was the same. Exactly as it had been three years ago when she last visited Flourish and Blotts. Sure there were a few more un-orderly stacks of books here and there, but other than that; the same.

__It was the same. Exactly as it had been three years ago when she last visited Flourish and Blotts. Sure there were a few more un-orderly stacks of books here and there, but other than that; the same.

  
She was lucky that the old owner, Stanly Foruli, knew her well. He was the only reason she had gotten his job. She had no qualifications whatsoever; she was a wizarding lawyer back in Rome. He gave her the job based on, what she thought, the amount of galleons she put into this store. In reality, it was because he would be an idiot not to. 

  
A girl like Lily Evans was not destined to be a bookstore owner based on her marks in school. Oh no, she was much more Chief Healer, Auror or famous lawyer material. She did the famous lawyer thing. Judging by the fact that she is no longer in Rome, it really must not have been for her.

  
“Have a good time in Sydney sir, you deserve it,” Lily said shaking Stanly’s hand as he passed over the deeds to the store.

  
“Oh Miss. Evans, I will now. Knowing that my store will be in excellent hands.”  
“Of course sir, excellent hands.”

  
Stanly Foruli was a jolly man. A St. Nicholas figure. Large round belly, shiny balding head with wisps of snowy white hair brushed over. A rough, patchy beard that was in desperate need of trimming. A man that needed a good long vacation. 

  
Lily looked around at her new store. It was bigger now that she owned it. Two levels of shelves and the odd table full of books waiting to be bought. Running a store couldn’t be that hard. Stanly had for sixty years; he didn’t seem that smart, surely she could do it well enough. 

  
It was the beginning of July. She had about a month and a bit to get the store ready, or at least make little changes, until the Hogwarts rush came in. But for today, just for today. She would bask in the glory of her new life.

  
“Sirius, get the hell off of me. It’s three in the morning,” Remus mumbled pulling the covers over his head.

  
“It’s my place, I can wake you up whenever I bloody well feel like it.” Sirius pulled off all the covers and threw them onto the floor. Remus curled into a ball. “I’ll get the water.”

  
Remus opened one eye, stretched out yawning and then sat on the side of his bed.  


“Alright, what is it?

  
“She’s back!”

  
“You woke me up to tell me that? Good night, Sirius.”

  
“No, you don’t know who _she_ is.”

  
“ _She_ can wait till morning, _I_ want to sleep.”

  
Remus grabbed his previously warm blankets from the floor. 

  
“Moony!” Sirius shouted as Remus covered his head with a pillow.

  
“Piss off. No girl you shag is this important.”

  
“I never shagged Lily.”

  
Remus stopped trying to kick Sirius off his bed and an eye peered out from under his pillow. 

  
“Lily Evans?”

  
“You’re right, you should sleep. No girl is that important to you.”

  
Sirius got up and walked out of Remus’ room, only to be followed.

  
“Sirius, tell me, is Lily back in London?”

  
Sirius scratched his chin in thought. After a moment he laughed at Remus expression. A mixture of hope and fear.

  
“Well she’s not in Rome anymore, if that answers your question.”

  
Remus smiled and sat down on the couch.

  
“Does James know?”

  
Sirius sat down in the chair across. “Of course he knows, I saw her, he saw her. I danced with her, he danced with Jane. She insulted him, he dragged Jane away.”

  
Remus’ smile disappeared. 

  
“She met Jane?”

  
“Of course, she and James are attached at the hip.  Why so glum?”

  
Remus ran his hands through his hair. “I never told her.”

  
Sirius stared at Remus and then it registered. 

  
“Oh, that’s not good. She’ll be pissed at you.”

  
Remus let out a nervous laugh. “Why would she be? She should be mad at James if anyone, or even you. You probably dragged her over.”

  
“Don’t try to pin this on me Moony. You made an unofficial promise to myself as well as you that would keep the Lily updated on James. Without being obvious about it, of course.”

  
Remus sighed in defeat.

  
“Did Lily like her?”

  
“It’s hard to say, you know how difficult it is to read that girl. But she knew.”  
Remus shook his head. “Anyone who knows James well enough can see that Jane loves him.”

  
There was a silence.

  
“She looks amazing.”

  
“I bet.”

  
“James looked like he was going to jump her.”

  
Remus nodded.

  
“As disgusting as that would have been, I sort of wanted it to happen. I don’t like Jane.”

  
Remus laughed. “We all know you don’t, with the exception of James.”

  
“She’s too…”

  
“Yes Sirius, we know. I’m going back to bed. We’ll owl Lily in the morning.”

  
“No need to mate, we’re meeting her for lunch tomorrow at some café. She gave me directions, but I said that you knew where it was.”

 

  
“Looks like someone got lucky last night,” Frank smiled as he sat across from James in the conference room.

  
A smiled played across James face. “One could say that.”

  
Frank laughed. “And who is this fine lady that allowed you, of all people, to spend the night with her?”

  
“Jane.”

  
“The Jane?”

  
“The one and only.”

  
Frank leaned back on his chair. “Lily’s out of the picture then?”

  
“Gone.”

  
This seemed to satisfy Frank for the time although he shot James a rather nasty look when his head was down. Alice would be none to happy about this recent development. 

  
James shuffled his papers as the other Chief Aurors and their assistants walked in.  
Alastor Moody sat at the head of the table, and James took his seat beside him.  Being an assistant wasn’t the greatest job in the division, but it got him the experience needed to become a full field Auror. He wasn’t entirely sure how, but the ministry was corrupt in his opinion anyway. 

  
This did not mean, however, that he was not an Auror. He had gone through his two-year training course; in fact he graduated last month. And once he learnt the ins and outs of paperwork for Moody, he would be able to start on his own missions. A couple of months of playing messenger boy for the top Auror was really a small price to pay for a fine education. 

  
Moody leaned over to James.  
“Potter.”

  
“Yes sir.”

  
“Get out of here.”

  
James looked taken back until he saw the gnarled smile on Moody’s lips. 

  
Frank gave a small smile to James as he left. 

 

  
Jane sank down on the couch holding the letter tightly in her hand. This was unheard of, non-existent, completely unorthodox.  Being a future lawyer, Jane should know. No one, as far as Jane or James has known of, has been promoted to a Chief Auror right out of graduation. James Potter would be the first in the history books.

  
Jane was over-reacting, he was hardly on the same line as Alastor, but one-step closer. As of today, he was Chief Auror of Field, Division M. In plain English it meant that James was in charge of the Field Aurors responding to Muggle Attacks caused by Wizards. It’s not a prestigious job, not to mention virtually payless and extremely boring, but it was a Chief position that therefore landed him in the daily meetings where he was not long ago an assistant. 

 

  
“He got Chief,” Remus said in disbelief.

  
“Chief? What happened to Moody?”

  
“Not Chief Chief, a Division Chief, Muggle Attacks.”

  
“No shit.”

  
“Who got Chief?” Lily took a sip of her coffee.

  
Sirius and Remus exchanged looks.

  
“James did,” Remus said simply, stuffing the letter into his pocket. 

  
Lily nodded and smiled. “I’m fine, you know. I’m over him.”

  
There was no persuasion in Remus’ eyes. “Sure you are.”

  
Sirius drummed his fingers on the table.

  
“So Lily, what changes are you going to make to Flourish and Blotts? It’s historical, be careful or you might have Diagon Ally after you. “

  
Lily laughed. “Nothing major. It just needs some organizing, everything will stay the same.”

  
The boys nodded and began to look nervously around the café.   
“Is unemployment still working out for you?”

  
Sirius glared at Lily. “Yes. And for your information, I have no need for work. Uncle has set me up for life. Plus, when or if I run out, James has plenty to share.”  
Lily laughed. “You should know, you can’t always depend on James. He has his floozy to look after now.”

  
“She’s really not that bad.”

  
“I know, but you can’t expect me to respect a girl who puts up with James.”  
Remus smiled. 

  
“Don’t go there. I fully regret what happened between us at school, and so does he.”

  
Again, silence.

  
“They are together now, aren’t they?”

  
“That was mentioned in the letter, yes.”

  
“What a floozy,” Lily mumbled taking another sip of her coffee. 


	3. Of Past Jobs and Future Loves

 

_ **Of Past Jobs and Future Loves** _

It was strange for them to hear James talk so highly of another person that was not Lily.

“You know, Jane said that-”

“I don’t bloody care what Jane says, does or thinks. She can go jump off a broomstick for all I care.”

James’ smile disappeared and he glared at Sirius. Remus and Peter elbowed him under the table.

“Do you have a problem with Jane, Padfoot?”

Sirius stifled a yelp from the double elbows and shook his head.

“Good!” James smiled as he continued to talk about Jane’s opinion on this particular restaurant lunch menu. “Jane has had most of the salads and speaks very highly of the Garden. I think I will have that.”

Sirius chocked on his water while Remus and Peter stared. The server walked up.

“Have you decided?”

James put on his best smile and handed her his menu. “Yes, I will have the Garden Salad with water.”

Peter shook himself out of his daze and grabbed Remus and Sirius’ menu.

“The men at this table will have the steak, all medium–rare, with a pint of your finest ale.”

Peter flashed his own charming smile and the server nodded and left.

“Have you gone mad?”

James looked across the table in confusion. “No, why?”

“A Garden Salad, mate? A salad? You’re not a rabbit, eat man food.”

“Jane has got me on a diet. She says I need to be fit for my new job.”

Remus looked at James in disbelief. “You’re in the best shape out of all of us, and you’ve always eaten like a pig.”

“People change, Moony! I suggest you three try the salad as well, you might like it.”

“Sorry James, but I’m not a girl,” Peter mumbled.

Sirius covered his laugh with a cough.

 

* * *

“Did you read the article on that divorce lawyer?” 

“No, why would I?”

“Because she was amazing; won a case in two hours. The poor bloke didn’t stand a chance.”

“What happened?”

“Messy divorce, the lawyer got lots of money off of it. Some famous Qudditich player and a Healer in Rome. She wanted half of what he’ll make in the next four years, and she got it.”

“That’s hardly fair; the poor bloke is probably struggling to make ends meet. It’s hard to make it big in Qudditich.”

The man laughed. “Nope, he was the top player in Italy. She’ll be getting about five million galleons a year. And even if the guy is injured, traded or even gets a lower wage in the next four years, he still owes her the money. The lawyer did amazing work.”

“What was this lawyer’s name?”

“I think it was Lily Evans.”

That name triggered something in Jane’s mind. She knew a Lily, or met one. Although she can hardly remember much about the conversation, she was drinking. She should ask James if it was the same person. There was a very small chance of it being her, but if it was, she would be promoted. Her boss might even offer her partner if she could get that Lily to come work here.

Jane shook herself out of her daydream. As she thought before, the Lily that she met might not be the Lily that her co-workers were talking about. But the possibilities…she would definitely have to ask James.

* * *

 

Books weren’t as popular as Lily had believed them to be. By the lack of people coming into the shop, she would be done organizing and cleaning within a week, which was never good. Lily needed something to keep her busy. She needed more of a distraction. 

And a distraction is what she got.

Interrupting Lily’s thoughts of a new book shipment and the labelling system, the bell over the door rang. Half-startled to see anyone in the shop at noon, let alone anytime of the day, Lily prepared her friendly self. That was until she saw the person who walked in.

“Jane?”

Jane smiled.

“Lily, you’re just the person that I wanted to see.”

Lily was genuinely confused. She was pretty sure she had given off a bad impression of herself last time they spoke.

“What for?”

This is where Jane started to get uncomfortable.

“Well, you see… there was this article at work. It mentioned this woman. She was a divorce lawyer in Rome.” Lily froze. Jane struggled on, oblivious to Lily’s reaction. “And her name was also Lily, and I know I might be taking a stab in the dark, but I just had to ask you. Remus said that you lived there, I just thought-”

Lily’s sigh broke Janes ramble.

“So was that you? Is that you?”

Lily decided then and there that she really disliked Jane.

Lily never hated anyone. She was not that type of person. Sure, she disliked people, but that was a rare occasion. The only people to ever grace themselves with a disliked status was her sister (Petunia), James (he was on and off for years), and the most recent, Jane. This had nothing to do with her living, being friends with or dating James. It was the fact that Jane was exactly like her.

“You came down here to ask me that?”

“Yes.”

Lily rested her elbows on the front desk. “I suppose you want an answer.”

Jane sort of laughed. “That would be nice.”

“Alright. I don’t think it is really any of your business to know what I did in Rome.”

Jane was taken back, but nodded.

“I completely understand, it was very rude of me. I’m sorry, I’ll leave.”

Lily watched Jane walk out. Yes, Lily definitely disliked Jane.

 

 

* * *

“Lily, I think that was extremely rude.”

 

Lily looked over her refrigerator door.

“You want to talk about rude?”

“Yes I do! She was asking you a question, with a simple yes or no answer. There was nothing personal to it!”

She shut the door. Both. The refrigerator and the front door which James left open in his rage.

“How did you know where I live?”

“You are avoiding the answer.”

“You are avoiding the question.”

James’ eyes narrowed.

“Pete told me.”

Lily nodded. She grabbed her cup of coffee of the table. “Would you like any?”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Damn it, Lily!”

She smirked.

“Congratulations on your promotion. Always knew you had it in you.”

James sighed and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

“Well James, I’d say you’re being rude.”

“Why are you here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she challenged.

“I’m angry at you for being rude to Jane.”

“I didn’t like my job.”

“As a lawyer?”

Lily glared. “Yes.”

James stood up and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down again.

“Why couldn’t you just tell her that?”

“Because it was none of her business.”

“Damn it Lily! Why isn’t it her business? She’s a lawyer too.”

“It just wasn’t.”

James hand was now almost constantly running through his hair.

“If I were there, would you have told her?”

Lily thought for a moment.

“Yes.”

“Why with me there? I thought it was none of her business.”

“Because it’s your business.”

He stopped.

“Because the reason I left was you, the reason I became a divorce lawyer was because of you. And you have a right to know that.”

James gave her a long look.

 

 

* * *

A loud pop could be heard in Sirius’ apartment Saturday morning.

 

“Padfoot!”

“Not now Pete, let me sleep.”

“Padfo- you think I sound like Peter?”

Sirius opened a sleepy eye. “No, Pete knows not to wake me up this early.”

James tore off Sirius’ covers. “It’s 11:30.”

“Too early,” Sirius mumbled, rolling over blindly searching for his covers.

“Come on Sirius, we didn’t even go out last night.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“You went out? Without me?”

“Yes.”

“By yourself?”

“No, Lily and Pete were there.”

James was taken back. “Why didn’t you invite me?”

Sirius scoffed. “That would have been awkward.”

“Lily and I are over each other. In no way would going out with her, in a group, be awkward.”

Sirius sighed, getting out of bed. He stretched and walked over to the washroom. “I wasn’t talking about it being awkward with Lily. It would be more awkward for you and her new boyfriend.”


	4. Of Used Tos and No Longers

**_ Of Used Tos and No Longers _ **

****__  
  
“Terribly sorry, umm Lily could I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?”

 Lily rolled her eyes, trying to cover up her clear embarrassment of having her ex walk in while she and her new boyfriend were in a compromising position. 

“James…” Lily threatened once they were in the kitchen, not particularly looking for an answer.

“I wanted to say I was sorry for being rude yesterday and just coming in without warning.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

James was looking down at the floor.  “Yes, I am sorry.”

Lily let out a cold laugh. “Get out.”

James looked startled. “What did I do?”

“Get out Potter.”

“Potter? That was very sixth year Evans.”

“Well if you remember, sixth year was when I despised you. Take a hint.”

James smiled. “You don’t hate me. You’re just jealous.”

Lily shook her head. “No Potter, I think you’re the jealous one.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re still so clearly in love with me.”

James laughed. “Alright, Evans, whatever you need to keep you warm at night.”

Lily strode over to the door and held yanked it open, waiting for him to leave. All the while her boyfriend sat stunned on the couch.

“Leave, Potter.”

James sat down at the kitchen table. “No, I don’t think so. I like it here.”

Breathlessly Lily asked again, “Please leave James.”

 James held her stare. He got up and walked over to the door. He took Lily’s hand off the handle and closed it.

“James, I have company.”

“I’m not leaving.”

Darren, Lily’s newly found better half, took this opportunity to speak. 

“I believe Lily asked you to leave.”

 Only now did James take in the presence of another man in the room.

 “And you are?”

 “Darren.”

James strolled over and sat across from him.

“Did you know Lily and I went out?”

Darren was taken back as Lily covered her eyes.

 “No, I didn’t. But she’s not going with you now, is she?” Darren looked over to Lily, who was leaning on the door.

“No, we broke up awhile ago.”

“About three years. Isn’t that right Lily.”

 “I don’t know James, I never bothered to count.”

James leaned back in his chair. “Ahh Hogwarts, those were the good old days, weren’t they Lils?”

Lily looked terrified.  


“Hogwarts? Lily told me she went to Oxford,” Darren interrupted.

James broke out in a smile. “Did she now? Well Daniel, do you know what this is?” James pulled out his wand.

“It’s Darren and James I swear-”

“Lily, Lily, let the man answer the question. Do you know what this is?”

Darren looked at the stick that James was holding. “It’s a piece of wood.”

“Tsk, tsk, we can’t have you listening if you don’t know what this is. I’m sorry, Danny. Good night.” 

A flash of red came out of James’ wand and Darren fell back on the couch.

“Bloody hell James,” Lily managed, attempting to contain her anger as she pulled out her own wand.

“Don’t.”

“Why not? You should be ashamed of yourself, you are a Chief Auror. They do not go around cursing random people.”

“I just wanted to talk to you without him over hearing.”

“Well you didn’t have to hex him!” Lily hauled, Darren into a sitting position. “I was wrong. You haven’t changed. You’re still the arrogant prick who stuns innocent people. Please leave.”

“Lily, I want to talk to you.”

“Leave. Or don’t be surprised if you end up jobless for attacking a Muggle.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Stay here and find out.”

 James let out an angry sigh and walked out.

James, now clearly frustrated, apparated home. It wasn’t late, just after supper but Jane didn’t really care.

“James Potter, you have been gone for hours. I was worried sick!”

“I said I was going out.”

 “Yes, and I assumed with Sirius. But about an hour after you left, he showed up looking for you.”

 “I was at Pete’s.”

“And then half an hour after that Remus and Peter showed up.”

“Oh.”

“You better explain yourself.”

“I was at Lily’s.”

“Lily's? The Lily from the club?”

 “Yes.”

 Jane sighed and began to pace.

“James, I love you, I really do. But it would take an idiot not to see you she likes you and that you like her, so if you are having an affair just come out and say it. I can take it.”

James laughed and walked over to his worried girlfriend.

“Jane, luv. Don’t worry, Lily and I are over.”

Jane stopped walking. “You two went out?”

 James sat down on a chair and pulled Jane on top of him.

“Yes.”

 “James, you have to give me more than that. I deserve to know what went on with you two, especially if you’re going to visit her.”

James simply nodded. “We went out for a year and a half.”

“And?”

“I cheated on her. With her best friend.”

Jane looked down. “That’s terrible, James.”

“Yes, I know, I got enough of that from the guys.”

“So she left you?”

“Yes, and moved away.”

Jane nodded and then rested her head on James’ chest. “If you ever cheat on me I will do more than leave.”

“I know.”

 

“Darren, luv?” Lily smiled, holding up his head with one hand and shoving her wand into her pocket with the other.

“What happened?”

“You passed out. Don’t you remember? We had a bit too much to drink.”

“Who was that guy?”  


“Him? Oh, he was a friend of a friend, I borrowed one of his books, he was coming over to pick it up.”

“I remember he pulled out this stick, and then a flash of red light, and then blank.”

Lily, who was crouching in front of Darren, sighed. 

“Darren, this isn’t going to work out.”

 

 It was midnight. Sirius never slept before two. This was a very good thing for Lily. 

“I hate James.”

“Come on Lils, you’re being too hard on him.”

“Did he tell you what he did?”

 “No…”

“He broke into my apartment and stunned my boyfriend!”

“James did?”

“Who else?”

“I don’t know, you could have had too much to drink.”

“Sirius,” Lily warned.

“Sorry, I just don’t see why James would do that. It doesn’t seem like him.”

“Wrong, it sounds exactly like him. Hexing people without warning just so he can show off.”

“Now you’re rambling.”

Lily poured herself and Sirius another cup of coffee. They sat in silence.

“I think he still likes you.”

“He can burn in hell if he does.”

“And maybe you still like him.”

“You can burn in hell with him.”

“So what did you do with Darren?”

“I had to break up with him. What else could I do? He was getting suspicious.”

“You couldn’t have used a memory charm?”

“Sorry, but unlike James, I don’t hex muggles.”

“So Darren’s gone?”

 “Darren’s gone.”

 


End file.
